I Fired My Husband

“Our kids come to church every week and learn about the gospel and Jesus and then they go home and ask two questions: does it work? and, how do I do it? And those questions are answered Monday-Friday through mom and dad.” (Pastor J.P. Dorsey)


So to clarify, mommas, we aren’t just responsible for teaching our people the Word of God by gathering around it &  memorizing it. The way we treat our spouse (and single mommas, don’t check out here, really the way we treat any person) teaches our kids that either the gospel works and they can walk it out, or that it is false or idealist and impossible to actually live.

I don’t know about you, but I want my people to know the gospel is true and confidently walk it out.

Today, I am sharing with you three qualities of a very good marriage based on the sermon “The Meaning of Marriage” by Pastor J.P. Dorsey.  Again, if you aren’t married, don’t close this window yet. These qualities really apply to all of our relationships–regardless of who you’re interacting with, your babies are watching and they are learning about the gospel.

Three qualities:

A very good marriage (or relationship) is:

1) meeting its missional purpose

2) understands the limits of the marriage metaphor

3) flows out of personal abundance

Meeting its missional purpose: God’s design for my human relationships is for me to display Jesus to those I am in relationship with such that they have a more clear understanding of Jesus because they’ve interacted with me. It is not designed to fill all my buckets in my particular love languages, it is not designed to make my happy all the time, it is not designed to make me whole. And, mommas, as I sat and listened to this sermon, I was reminded that even though I may have had this as head knowledge, I was not treating my marriage relationship and my relationship with my babies as though it’s primary purpose is displaying Jesus.

Understands the limits of the metaphor: J.P. explained this so beautifully; I have tried to create my own metaphor, but his is too good–he spoke of the moon and the sun.  The moon reflects the sun. If I bring the cucumber and pepper plants that Mark and the kids planted out every night to bask in the light the moon is reflecting, they’ll die. The moon reflects the sun, but it cannot replace the sun. Mark regularly shows me what Jesus looks like by the way he loves & cares for me.  However, he is only reflecting the true light, Papa God. When I make him my sun, my light, my source, my soul will begin to die. So, at J.P.’s encouragement, on Sunday I fired Mark…he is a wonderful husband and a terrible god.

Flows out of personal abundance: Hang on, mommas, because this is where the conviction made my heart ache. The empowerment for me to be a Jesus-displaying wife to Mark and  Jesus-displaying momma, comes from a personal abundance in my life with Jesus Christ.  It comes from me being rooted and grounded in Him.  Two broken people don’t magically come together to make wholeness.  Two people overflowing out of their personal, one-on-one relationships with Jesus Christ display the gospel in a tangible way to onlookers.

So, mommas, whether it’s the relationship with your man, your mother-in-law, or your babies, its purpose in your life is for you to display Jesus Christ to the other person.  So, fire who you must and set aside time tomorrow to start filling your buckets with Jesus.

Note: Do yourself a huge favor and LISTEN to the sermon that this post is based upon by Pastor J.P. Dorsey



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