I have been tempted in the last two weeks to stomp my feet & clench my fists, and throw a grown up fit of sorts. We have had sickness in our home for over a month now. Yellow boogers, crusted eyes, gunky cough, crabby baby kind of sickness. It started with Audrey our first grader whose immune system is growing a lot this year. But, it has made its way through our home adding one at a time to its list of prey–as the numbers of sickies has grown, the original instigator, Audrey, is still fighting symptoms weeks later. It even took down the mom–the one who can usually pop extra vitamin C and fight off whatever the kiddos bring home. My throat has been tears-in-my-eyes-when-I-swallow sore for at least two weeks.
You all know how tiring it is for a momma being sick & caring for the sick. But, it isn’t the exhaustion that makes me want to imitate a two-year-old grocery store fit. It is the fact that I feel God is withholding something from me that I know He is fully capable of providing. Not only withholding something from me, but withholding something I need. I feel like I need healing in my home. In reality, I only need energy & endurance to walk through this trial that God has allowed–I am learning that if you are not through it, you’re still called to it.
Confusing desires (like my desire to have health) and needs can be dangerous. Paul David Tripp, in his book New Morning Mercies, shows one of the most dangerous things that can happen when I think there is something I need that I don’t have, “If you are convinced that something is a need, you judge the love of God by his willingness to deliver it.”
When I believe I need health in my home, and God doesn’t deliver it, I am tempted to judge the love of God. Further, Tripp points out, “What is deadly about questioning God’s goodness is that you tend not to run for help to someone you doubt.” This is the danger of misnamed needs–they can lead me to doubt God’s love for me, and be used as a tool by the enemy to keep me from running to him the next time I need help.
So, mommas, lets lead on this one–let us reexamine the difference between needs & desires, so we don’t doubt God’s incredible love for us. We cannot teach our children something we don’t ourselves believe. If we believe God is withholding from us, we cannot teach them about a God who meets every need.